Susantha Abeysinghe
Independent

Summary

Policies & Commentary

I don’t quite know what to make of Susantha Abeysinghe. From his social media, it seems that he stood unsuccessfully as a candidate for Yarraman Ward in the Greater Dandenong Council last year, and is recycling his resources from then for this election. The only source of campaign policies, however, is a series of photographs of printed material that he’s posted on Facebook. And they are… a mixed bag.

Firstly, Abeysinghe is in dire need of a pamphlet designer. And a proof-reader. And should probably learn not to put his home address on anything he’s handing out to random passersby. There are far too many people out there who think they have the right to harass politicians (and would-be politicians) by targeting their homes for harassment. Hopefully, Abeysinghe will manage to fly under their radar.

On to the policies.

Bucking the trend of candidates attempting to both-sides the energy debate, Abeysinghe is unequivocal about the need for greater government investment in renewables. He’s also a big fan of High Speed Rail (Drink!), calling for nothing less than a nationwide network of bullet trains.

Socially, Abeysinghe is somewhere Left of the Greens. Free tertiary education, with existing student HECs debts covered by government. He’s also in favour of free healthcare for all, which presumably means government should pick up the tab for everything from GP visits to specialist treatment. Aged care should also be free, Abeysinghe declares. And while we’re at it, we should Increase Pension, Job seeks [sic], Austudy and other payments.

I’m absolutely on board with all of these ideas in principle – as, I suspect, are many Australians. People on benefits know all too well just how inadequate the payments are. The cost of GP visits is skyrocketing as the Medicare rebate remains largely static. Aged care is a disgrace in most states – potential residents who don’t have a handy nest egg to buy themselves a place are forced to surrender virtually all of their pensions. (The notable exception being Victoria’s state-based aged care system, but that’s not without its flaws, either.)

On housing, Abeysinghe proposes interest-free home loans for all first home buyers. Here, he runs into the same problem as the major parties’ housing policies – increasing the ability to buy will also increase demand, and without also addressing the supply shortage, housing prices will just continue to go up and up.

Maybe that’s why Abeysinghe proposes that everyone be awarded 100 acres of free land? Honestly, this is a very strange policy, and I’m only guessing here. It does raise some questions, though. Do we get to choose where this land is located? Are we expected to develop it in some way? Will there also be a free mule to help till the soil?

In the realm of infrastructure, Abeysinghe promises to build more airports, ports, and air lines. The latter would be subject to government regulation as regards air travel tickets and freight costs.

This seems like a policy in search of a problem. For instance, re-creating a national airline would likely prove to be a black hole in terms of revenue. While there is a real need to improve air access to the regions after the collapse of regional airlines, a national carrier would find itself in competition with the many commercial outfits who are already competing for a finite amount of passengers.

As for controlling freight costs at ports, well, that’s a state responsibility.

The problem is, Abeysinghe has given no detail at all as to how he’d find the money to fund these initiatives.There’s some vague statements about “re-analysing” government construction projects and recruitment policy, but that’s about it.

So much for the policies that make sense. Hang on to your hats, this is where it gets weird.

Abeysinghe is really in favour of irrigation. As in, really, really enthusiastic about it. There are all sorts of benefits that flow from building an interconnected inland system (IIS).¹I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun. And not the ones you might think, either.

First of all, an IIS will solve the problem of rising global ocean levels! Because… salt water is great for irrigating land?

Oh, I get it. Abeysinghe also thinks that an IIS will really encourage people to start fish farms. Maybe all that rising sea water will be diverted to the Red Centre to allow enterprising types to found a thriving inland oyster or whiting industry.

With an IIS, the pet industry will boom! No, really. I’m not quite sure what this even means, but it does conjure rather disturbing visions of puppy farms in the desert. Frankly, this seems like nonsense – even the briefest visit to a pet rescue shelter shows that there are far more pets than there are people to adopt them (with the tragically predictable results of animals being euthanised simply because there is no one to care for them). Why on earth, then, would anyone think it’s a great idea to flood the market with even more pets?

Another nifty benefit of having an IIS is… forklifts.

Yes, you read that right.

Follow me here, because it gets a bit convoluted. Remember that “100 free acres for everyone” policy? Well, here’s where it comes into its own. If we build an IIS, then people will want to develop that free land. And to do that, we’re going to need – you guessed it – forklifts. So, by creating an IIS, demand for forklifts will be created, and that means more people will have jobs building them. And that means more GST revenue! Everybody wins!

Along with the forklifts, everyone’s going to need 9 kg gas bottles. So that’s even more jobs and revenue! Hooray!

Pest controllers would also win with IIS, because they would be asked to spray the various parcels of land every year and… harvest the honey? Okay, so Abeysinghe appears to be of the opinion that all of us out there on our reclaimed desert land with our forklifts would also be on board with becoming beekeepers. He even has a helpful post on his Facebook page instructing us on which flowers are good for bees.

But I’ve saved the best for last. Having an IIS would be great for religious reasons.I’m going to reproduce this in full, odd capitals and strange syntax and all, because otherwise I’m not sure anyone would believe me.

Christians can baptism from water spring in Desert.
Buddhist can umpasampada from water spring in Desert.
Muslims can use water for Ghusl/Wudu from water spring in Desert.
Hindus can use it to cleanse their sins and achieve spiritual purification from water spring in Desert.
Jewish can use water from spring in Desert for Libation Ceremony (Simchat Beit HaShoeivah).

I could go on, because when I said Abeysinghe was really enthusiastic about an inland irrigation network, I was understating the situation. “Obsessive” is more accurate. Almost every post on his Facebook in some way extols the virtues of an inland IIS, to the point where Abeysinghe seems to think that it would solve every existing problem including rising carbon dioxide levels, and a whole bunch of things that really aren’t problems at all.

But look, what it comes down to is that – obsessions aside – Abeysinghe’s policies tend towards equity and access, and that’s no bad thing. Sure, he might be overly idealistic, but goodness knows we could do with a bit more idealism in Australian politics.

If you’re looking for someone to put in the middle of your ballot, you could certainly do worse than Abeysinghe. And who knows? If he were to be elected, we might just get treated to a few passionate speeches about the potential for snapper farms in Birdsville or innovations in forklift technology.